Perfect!…Part 5

So Abby and I had this wonderful relationship going.  Everything was PERFECT, except for the…timing.  I quickly came to the realization that after three months together, wonderful moments together and an experience that up until this point in my life, was the best point in my life; it wasn’t meant to be.

Now I know you may be thinking, “Well what the hell went wrong?”  The answer to that questions is: Nothing.  Nothing went wrong.  Everything was going a-ok.  But unfortunately, for the first time in my life, I did the typical “guy thing” and ran.  Simply because I was afraid of commitment.  Abby and I had an amazing last date; we went for a sunrise viewing at a local beach and walked along the cliffs and discovered a “graffitti art centre” there amongst the cliffs; but it just wasn’t right.  We had gotten along so well and had clicked so perfectly and for the first time in three months I took a look at what was going on and got very frightened.

Now, before you judge me as a typical guy asshole, you must understand that I’ve come to a certain realization after all this has transpired, that realization is this:

Abby is PERFECT for me.  She is my “dream girl.”  She is the type of woman I would really enjoy settling down with.  She is intelligent, creative, fun and interesting.  She is everything that I desire in a woman.  But, at that time, I was not ready for that.  I accurately told her when I met her that I was no where near the state of mind to meet the “girl of my dreams,” and I never deceived her.  I, to this day, will state that if I had met Abby three or four years later than I did, we would be together for a LONG time.  But because Abby was SO PERFECT for me, it scared me and made me realize that I was not ready for her. 

Abby deserved a reciprocate.  She deserved someone who cared for her and was as PERFECT for her as she was for me.  So simply, and unfortunately, “wrong place, wrong time.”  That’s it.  My PERFECT girl was interested, I was with her for three months, but because it was the wrong point in my life, I could not stay and appreciate her.  I feel horrible with that realization, but it is honest, at the least.

This is my tragedy, the deepest of sorrows in which I live today (relationship wise as well).  I’ve had two VERY serious relationships, two very long and loving relationships, but ABBY HAD MORE EFFECT ON ME THAN ANY OF THEM.  I wish that I was in the right state of mind, but all I can hope for is that the next time I meet a woman as PERFECT as Abby…I will be ready.